by Denise K.
In addition to learning how to live in an environment that is wet, muddy, and sweaty, we are also learning how to take care of our eletronic equipment in 100% constant humidity. The station has a few hours of electricity a day and when the electricity is on, we have lights in our cabins, air condition in the library to preserve the books, and the light boxes are on to dry out our equipment. Most of us have systems by now. For me, my camera goes into the light box around dinner and dries out from 6-9pm. In the morning, it's removed and subjected to the humid environment. After our morning hike, the camera goes back into the light box to dry out during lunch and is then taken out again in the afternoon. In addition to the light box, I am also using a double layered, sealable bag with sacs of dessicant inside. I place the camera inside anytime I'm not using it. Even with the lightbox, dessicant, and careful use, electronic equipment does not like humidity. Unfortunately, I found this out on our afternoon hike with Jose today.
Before I describe what happened, let me say that I love documenting moments, stories, and people's lives with photography. We were halfway through our jungle experience today and I had already taken 3000 photos - photos of the students that captured beauty and also documented the challenges they were overcoming in our wet and muddy environment, the friendships they were making, and the many things they were learning.
A "lens error", an electronic system that was struggling in the humidity, and a new camera that I wasn't familiar with...in a moment, I managed to delete all 3000 photos. Denise G stood behind me and watched me navigate the programmed questions, "Delete all photos on the camera?" "No" (of course not!). But the camera did not seem to want to listen and proceeded to delete every photo that I had taken so far in a matter of 15 seconds.
Since I was leading the mindfulness component of the trip, it was a bittersweet moment for me to practice what I was teaching the students, "everything is changing," "nothing is permanent," "rather than pushing away what is difficult and clinging to what is easy, try to just be with what is," "try to observe how quickly our experiences are changing in the jungle and then see how this relates to our larger life experiences." Much easier said than done. I felt sick to my stomach for days.
It took me several days to process all that had been lost. The beautiful photo of Elana holding the walking stick bug, Marzai stepping out of her comfort zone to climb on the canopy walkway tower, our very first hike in the jungle with Jose, the bat sleeping under the leaf, the crazy soccer match that caused too many injuries, the squirrel monkeys that walked right by our cabin, and, probably my favorite, the close-up shots of the conga ant that I took with the macro lens. It posed so patiently, with jaws open wide ready to bite...
In my journal, I wondered if I would be able to capture equally nice photos again. I was suddenly grateful that we were only halfway into the jungle stay. Denise G was very supportive after I deleted the photos. She and Elana picked up the first thing they could find in the jungle and enouraged me to begin taking photos again. The photo below is my first shot and I still have no idea what it is. It is not a peach. Everytime I see this photo it reminds me of letting go and beginning again. Will I be able to capture equally beautiful moments? Only time will tell.
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